Fic: Spill My Heart

Author: Sarah (Spoiledsquish)

Reviewer: Stacie

Summary: Post-Chosen; Buffy heads to L.A. to say her goodbyes and to save Fred the only way she can.

· Grammar: A couple of places where a comma would have been better; A word was left out ("I know that you can be when Angel won't have the will to live."; A few places where the spacebar didn't work.

· Spelling: I didn't see any mistakes. Yay! :-p

· Improbability: Technically, it's Canon, so *Suspension of Disbelief*

· Cliché: It's (becoming) a cliché but that little twist makes it different from the other things I've read.

· Plot Development: Well, we've moved along at a rather nice pace actually. Buffy set out to save Fred, did, and said her goodbye to Angel.

· Characterization: Very nice. The last chapter was touching and very Buffy/Angel-like.

· Use of Words/Description: There were a few places where I thought that maybe a little bit more could've been written. (Liz's comments: Damn descriptions all to hell! Don't you hate them sometimes? I do. I can't always seem to write what I'm thinking in my head. Dani Shafer [of Sempiternal Beloved] gave me some advice: In the first draft of your fic, write minimal descriptions. As you keep reading and rereading your fic, add more and develop the descriptions within each paragraph.)

· Continuity: From the show and in the story.

· Dialogue: Believable. So rare in fics that are set around when a show is cancelled.

· Tediousness: There was a bit of repetition but I wasn't bored and I managed to read it all and still wish that more had been written. I don't even like Canon. :p (Liz's comments: Wow. I've never heard that from her before. *Impressed*.)

· Diction: Word choices were good. I didn't see any places where I thought, "This should have been written more like blah blah correction-cakes."

Feedback (how I would like this if I was a normal reviewer):